My Crazy

Everyone is crazy to some extent. I realized this for certain while taking psychology courses. When we learn about all the neuroses and psychoses and mood disorders. I could see people I knew all through those. Most of all I could see me. I've known my whole life that I am a little crazy. I like to think that others don't see it (see.. an example of crazy right there), but it's probably quite apparent. For those of you who know me really well, it's probably very apparent.

See, the key about being crazy is to just let it out in small pieces rather than unloading a crapload of crazy on just one person (or group of people), 'cause if you do, you just might end up in the psych ward. To illustrate this, here is yet another perfect clip from Scrubs (yes, I am a bit of an addict to this show). It's just too perfect!


See, I think if people did this then we would have a whole lot fewer people going to therapy.
Note: If you go to therapy, this is by no means a judgment on you... I think it's a very healthy thing to do. Just to clear that up. We all need to let out the crazy now and then.

As for me, I think I'll let out a little crazy into cyber space. Here's a few tidbits on me:
Crazy # 1 - I count syllables of random sentences and tap them out on my fingers over and over until the last syllable ends up on my pinky finger. Why?? Cause I guess I'm a little crazy. I've done this for as long as I can remember.
Crazy # 2 - I have an imaginary audience issue. I suppose it could be classified as a delusion of sorts. I will think way to much of what people might think of me, or who's gong to notice my bad hair day or that big zit on my chin. I know this is a pretty common one. I heard it once said, "You wouldn't worry so much what people think of you if you realized how seldom they did." Definitely words for me to live by. I try to remember that when this crazy sneeks up on me.
And... just for the heck of it here comes Crazy # 3 - If I go into the bathroom at night and don't turn the light on, I can't make myself look into the mirror. There... my secret's out. Probably one too many horror movies growing up. Not sure what exactly I'm scared of seeing in the mirror (except maybe some bad bedhead).

So there you have it... proof of my crazy. I could go on, but I won't.

That was fun. You should all try it.

Love, M

My Best Intentions

Today I saw two girls who looked about 12 walking down the street, both dressed in mini skirts, low-cut tops and black sheer pantyhose. I was sad. I don't need to mention what they reminded me of.

I think this bothered me because I myself have 2 beautiful, innocent daughters. I will sometime soon have to decide how to balance keeping them innocent and keeping them safe.

There is something so beautiful and pure about the innocence of a child. I have a 3-year-old who believes that everyone in the world is nice and good and loves her; and as a result she loves the world. I know my heart will break the day she has to come to understand that not everyone will love her just for who she is. One day, a friend will betray her or another little girl will say "You're not my friend anymore!" Someday soon she will come to realize that not everyone has her best intentions at heart and for her, that day, the world will cease to be a perfect place.

I know that innocence can not last forever. Our world is cruel and cold and hard. There are people who will prey on the innocent and naive, and I cannot responsibly let her go on in the bubble of innocence forever... as much as it will break my heart. But for now, she is only 3 and I am content to let her be so.

I really am not one who believes that we should bury our heads in the sand, or try to keep our children in some sanitized bubble. They need to understand the world around them. One can only develop compassion when they see suffering; one can only gain understanding by experiencing diversity; and I believe that you really can only meet other's needs when you see that there are those who have them. We need to teach our children how to be in the world but not of it... this is my responsibility as a parent. There are many Christian parents that are parenting out of fear of the world. They are so concerned about keeping their kids from being "contaminated" by the things of the world that they render their own children completely incapable of influencing it. How is the world to learn a better way when there is nobody to show them?

On the other hand, I do not believe that children need to be exposed to everything out there in the name of educating them. There are things that I believe it would be irresponsible or dangerous to expose my children to. Do we teach them that fire is hot by throwing them into it?

I guess I'm just wrestling with how I will responsibly preserve my children's innocence without fostering naivety. I just have to hope and pray that I am able to do the job, allow the Holy Spirit to guide and protect, and try to remember that as much as this world is cruel and cold and hard, that there is still much beauty in it

I guess that concludes my musings for the day...

Much Love,

M

My Baby Feeding Goats

This one's to blow off a little steam! There are a few things (well, more than a few) that bother me about our society. Specifically today it is how we deal with the process of feeding babies.

I have 2 daughters, one is 3 (so obviously not a baby anymore) and the other is getting close to 4 months. With both my girls I have used a combination of breastfeeding and formula feeding. I have my personal reasons for this which I will not mention on this blog but would openly tell you if you asked. That said, it is NOT because I am to "lazy" to persevere with breast feeding alone as some people so readily assume; it actually takes a lot of work to accustom a baby to using both.

Now, here is what bugs me: If you choose to breastfeed, people in our culture get all uncomfortable when you want to feed your child in public places. I understand that there are some instances when it's not really going to be appropriate, for instance, in a job interview or perhaps while driving, or standing in as matron of honour at a friend's wedding. That aside, for some reason people can be really offended that you would choose to feed your hungry baby. That's the first of the baby feeding issues that gets my goat.

The second one is getting weird disapproving looks from hippie, organic, baby slinging moms when you buy formula or if they catch you bottle feeding. This also includes the afore mentioned assumptions (and we all know what happens when you assume). Seriously, do they really think that no one has ever told us that breast is best? And how do they even know that it's not breast milk in that bottle?? What business is it of anyone else how I choose to feed my baby. Just because you have been lucky enough to be able to breastfeed your baby does not give you the right to judge anyone else for their methods!!! They have no idea what has gone on in my life that makes it so that I am choosing to use formula. I may have had breast cancer, or be on a drug that could be passed on through milk, or I may have just chosen to use formula instead (these are all not the case with me by the way). People don't know and should not assume that using formula implies ignorance or laziness or not caring for your baby... it's a self righteous attitude that really makes me mad.

You just can't win in our society, so I think we should all just stop feeding our babies at all, that would solve the problem.

So, if you have strong opinions about baby feeding issues: do us all a favor and blog about it rather than casting disapproving looks at other moms just doing their best for their babies. So there... I feel somewhat better now, thanks for listening :)

So long,

M

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT ACTUALLY BELIEVE WE SHOULD STOP FEEDING OUR BABIES. Please continue to feed your baby in whatever way you deem appropriate :)

DISCLAIMER # 2: Sorry, I do not know of any real goats that will feed your babies for you... just in case the title gave some false hope ;)