This one's to blow off a little steam! There are a few things (well, more than a few) that bother me about our society. Specifically today it is how we deal with the process of feeding babies.
I have 2 daughters, one is 3 (so obviously not a baby anymore) and the other is getting close to 4 months. With both my girls I have used a combination of breastfeeding and formula feeding. I have my personal reasons for this which I will not mention on this blog but would openly tell you if you asked. That said, it is NOT because I am to "lazy" to persevere with breast feeding alone as some people so readily assume; it actually takes a lot of work to accustom a baby to using both.
Now, here is what bugs me: If you choose to breastfeed, people in our culture get all uncomfortable when you want to feed your child in public places. I understand that there are some instances when it's not really going to be appropriate, for instance, in a job interview or perhaps while driving, or standing in as matron of honour at a friend's wedding. That aside, for some reason people can be really offended that you would choose to feed your hungry baby. That's the first of the baby feeding issues that gets my goat.
The second one is getting weird disapproving looks from hippie, organic, baby slinging moms when you buy formula or if they catch you bottle feeding. This also includes the afore mentioned assumptions (and we all know what happens when you assume). Seriously, do they really think that no one has ever told us that breast is best? And how do they even know that it's not breast milk in that bottle?? What business is it of anyone else how I choose to feed my baby. Just because you have been lucky enough to be able to breastfeed your baby does not give you the right to judge anyone else for their methods!!! They have no idea what has gone on in my life that makes it so that I am choosing to use formula. I may have had breast cancer, or be on a drug that could be passed on through milk, or I may have just chosen to use formula instead (these are all not the case with me by the way). People don't know and should not assume that using formula implies ignorance or laziness or not caring for your baby... it's a self righteous attitude that really makes me mad.
You just can't win in our society, so I think we should all just stop feeding our babies at all, that would solve the problem.
So, if you have strong opinions about baby feeding issues: do us all a favor and blog about it rather than casting disapproving looks at other moms just doing their best for their babies. So there... I feel somewhat better now, thanks for listening :)
So long,
M
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT ACTUALLY BELIEVE WE SHOULD STOP FEEDING OUR BABIES. Please continue to feed your baby in whatever way you deem appropriate :)
DISCLAIMER # 2: Sorry, I do not know of any real goats that will feed your babies for you... just in case the title gave some false hope ;)
4 comments:
Oh, I am SO with you on this one - you just can't win! You almost can't even TALK about it without creating a huge disapproval-hurling stir! If only we could just stop judging each other...
XOXO
I'm not even a mother and I feel the same way you do.
What I can't understand is this: Why does society expect breastfeeding women to cover both their breast and their child's head while breastfeeding in public? I don't cover my head to eat, so why should we expect the same of wee babies?
North Americans are extremely conservative, and I know some people (men or women being ogled by them) are uncomfortable in this situation and so covering up helps rectify the situation. But I think it's sad that something as natural as eating needs to be hidden. I'm by no means saying that those who do cover up are in anyway wrong, but I do wish the beauty of breastfeeding was more acceptable to more people.
As for bottle feeding - who cares?! Life happens and we adjust as needed. As long as everyone is healthy and happy, what's the problem?!
PS. I fed the fish. They should be good for a couple days. ;)
I was amazed when I became a new mother at how competitive mothers are with each other: to breastfeed or not, family bed or crib, to circumsize or not... the list goes on. The best advice I got when I was a new mom was, "Wing it!" Do what is best for you and your baby. No one can tell you the best way to create a nurturing home than you and your baby. In my experience, I have found that the "natural" mothers are the most judgemental, which makes me wonder how confident they are in what they are doing. I'm don't question their methods, I question the confidence.
Do you know what else is funny? I live in a culture where women cover their hair. A friend of ours was telling us how his family joined his friend's family for lunch. They sat together, and the wife's hair was covered. All of a sudden, it was time to feed the baby, so she opened her shirt, pulled out her breast, and fed the child. Our friend said to us, "I've seen my friend's wife's breast, but I haven't seen her hair." In most countries, breasts are seen as functional not sexual. However, the hair or knees or butt are the sexual parts of the body. Funny.
P.s... found you through Michelle's blog. :)
Post a Comment